From the “You got to be kidding me category”

Sheri came across this the other day; it’s a serious ad/description looking for baseball umpires. I especially enjoyed the “Ability to see requirement.” And as a co-worker friend of mine pointed out, shouldn’t it read the “Ability to see well?” I don’t know about you, but couldn’t we raise the requirements a tad? I mean some of this is obvious, or at least one would hope anyway.

The Ability to tell time”… … Ha!  And oh, notice how many times the ability to see and tell time are mentioned below, as if they are the two most important requirements.  Man, I’m laughin’ so hard, I’m cryin’.

Edited to protect the innocent and provided for a laugh.


Baseball game management, knowledge of basic baseball rules, ability to see, public relations, interpersonal communication, professional appearance, and ability to tell time. (This is not an absolute list, nor restrictive, but indicates approximate duties and responsibilities which may be redefined pursuant to operational needs.

Game Management

  • Oversees and enforces the rules of the game pursuant to the Major League Rulebook, XXXXXXXX modifications, and XXXXXX XXXXXXXX League modifications
  • Keeps the official game time.
  • Administers the rules.

Ability to See

  • Able to make calls necessary as per the rules of the game.

Public Relations

  • Able to keep the peace during tense moments.
  • Able to demonstrate good sportsmanship.

Interpersonal Communication

  • Ability to effectively communicate to others (fans, coaches, scorekeepers, players).

Professional Appearance

  • Wearing a clean and pressed umpire uniform as defined by XXXXXX XXXXXXXX.

Ability to Tell Time

  • Begin and end the games on time.
  • Keep track of time limits of the games.


  • Under the immediate supervision of the XXXXXXX League Umpire Coordinator, XXXXXXXX League Umpire Scheduler and the Umpire-in-Chief of tournaments.


  • Basic knowledge of baseball rules
  • Ability to see
  • Willingness to learn
  • Pleasant and Prompt
  • Works well with people

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