I feel like such a hypocrite

It seem I’m always preaching to others, part of the job I guess, giving encouragement and sometimes a kick in the shorts.  I’m not one to sit around and listen to excuses, if you want something, need something, well, get off your butt and go get it.  But here’s the confession bit…  I have a huge interest in photography, always have, but I do very little with it most times.  I love black and white photographs and I follow and occasionally converse with some professional photographers who make a living making photographs they want to make verse those who’ll photograph anything to get paid.

About a year ago I purchased and began the restoration of a, 8×10 Deardorff film camera with the intent to get my butt in the proverbial field and make some photographs I wanted to make.  Alas that hasn’t happened yet.  In my head are a list of excuses, excuses I’ve rebuked others for and frankly excuses I don’t have the guts to mention here – they’re all too petty – they are excuses.

So what’s the purpose in writing this?  I’m not entirely sure, but when things aren’t going as planned, I’ve always encouraged others to call it what it is – to give it a name.  So few of us are willing to do that, because usually it’s a personal failure that we’re reluctant to name, as is the case here.  I’m failing to execute on my own desires and worse yet, I’m failing to execute the advice I so often give others and that make me a hypocrite.

Argh… so tonight I’ll go home, exercise a bit and drag out the old camera.  My intent – my goal – to take a photograph with the Deardorff, any photograph (even of my back yard if necessary) before the week is out.  As they say…  you don’t have to be great to start something, you just need to start to become great.  I’ll settle for starting this week.

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