Very near where I grew up and played as a child, I spent many days throughout the summers playing in and around Coldwater and Fountain creek, Duchesne and St. Ferdinand parks. Another, hard to comprehend, example of government failing it’s people.
It’s been two months since I lost my friend and colleague. It was just as we began to enter the busiest time of the year for the company where we both work, so busy in fact, I never really had (and very much didn’t want) the opportunity to process what was taking place. And as the days went on, I often found myself getting up from my desk, I wanted to go talk to Charlie about one thing or another. Charlie and I had a connection… he hired me 20 plus years ago and along the way had been everything from a boss, to a mentor, to a friend. We were wired a lot alike, both of us having spent our entire lives with technical things, he was the only guy I’ve ever been able to talk to without having to think about, or translate what I was saying on the fly – something I miss more than any words could ever express. He’d immediately get it and would often “one up me” in the conversation. He loved to just make stuff work and it’s what attracted me to this company so many years ago. Charlie was never full of it, as down to earth as they come and as easy to talk with as anyone could ever imagine. He was a gift, and my life has been forever bettered because of him and forever altered at the loss of his presence… Miss you Charlie… We all do…
It comes around twice a year, once in the fall and once in late spring… it’s the big push. Over the past month or so I’ve captured thousands of photos, hours of video and now it’s crunch time. The baseball banquet is just around the corner and everybody needs pictures, videos, CDs, sounds systems, and the list goes on and on.
This year I managed to put together a baseball trailer in addition to the usual photo slide show. The trailer is something I wanted to do for the softball team last year, but I just ran out of time, not to mention good video footage and ideas – so I owe them one. I’m fairly happy with it – as with most things I do, I can only see all the things wrong with it, what I’d do differently, if only I had endless time and no need for sleep. This little trailer experiment has gotten me pretty jazzed about video and it’s story telling ability. No doubt video is a powerful tool, but it’s also so much more complicated than stills… Anyway, sounds like I’m complaining, so I’d better stop… it’s been a fun project and now I just need to get the slide show under wraps and get folks a bunch of pictures.
I don’t know what it is about getting older, but I’m certainly less sure of things than I once was.
I never used to think about what-ifs, but these days I find my mind wandering more and more into the unknown. What if you had it to do all over again? Would you make the same choices? Would you follow the same path? Would you play it safe or would you bet it all on the long shot? Admittedly, I’m no longer sure of those answers. Some are a given – I wouldn’t change them for anything, as for the others, I’m not sure I’d change them either – they are the essence of who I am today, but I can’t help but wonder who I might of been.
As a kid, like most of us, I was full of idealistic hopes for the future and somewhere along the way those ideals fell victim to practicality and survival. As I dive deeper into photography and exploration, I hearken back to those days as a child and remember – the freedom to explore – to take chances – to dream big – and to ignore the possibility of failure.
Mid-life crisis? I’d hardly call questioning a crisis, but perhaps by some definitions. For me, I’m content with letting my mind wonder a bit and to dip my toe into the deeper end of the pool regardless if I can swim or not. Perhaps the opportunity of personal growth is worth the risk? Time will tell…
My pal smays.com made a suggestion to me today, to write about a technological revolution that’s taking place where I work. I’ve always been reluctant to write about technology and what I do, basically because I live, eat and sleep this stuff daily and I thought writing about it would be too much. But, perhaps writing about it isn’t such a bad idea, I mean, I haven’t written much here in a long time anyway.
So, this blog will take another shift for awhile and we’ll just see how it goes. I’ll continue to post softball and baseball stuff, but with my metamorphosis from coach to dad as of late, I definitely need a new focus here.